Hard
by sadokachan
Summary: SasuSaku ;; "Ugly! I can't get it any harder than this!"


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. One moment inspired by Nodame. (:

**SO HERE IS A RANDOM ONE-SHOT I MADE UP. xDD;; My friend and I were talking and...yeah. (: I'm still working on the second last chapter of Heartbreaker...about 10% done. Might be uploaded by next weekend...? Teehee... -runs from pitchforks-**

**Please Read and Review!**

**Love&&Peace!**

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Sasuke sighed as he was forced along the path towards Konoha, Naruto carrying his paralyzed body. His bloody shirt was now sticking to his luscious abs, showing the rock-hard figure of his years of training. Naruto grinned from ear to ear as he limped towards the gate, a 23 year old Sasuke in his arms. Naruto was bare-chested, scars and blood decorating his body like an overflowing Christmas tree. His blonde locks were streaked with blood.

Unfortunately, the rest of Sasuke's team died during the fight with Naruto. It was day on and night on of fighting, tears and pain, when Naruto had finally found a loophole and caught Sasuke off guard. It was then Sasuke felt his vision blurry; it was then Sasuke felt his muscles tighten; it was then Sasuke crumbled to the floor, unable to move his body.

Sasuke growled as Naruto eyed him teasingly from the corner of his eye, a giggle slightly escaping his mouth. "Hehe…" Naruto bunched up his eyes and giggled again at the helpless Uchiha like a little school girl. "Teehee…"

"Shut up." Sasuke snarled, trying to move his arm to whack the boy but only to wince in pain, as if his arm was being cut in half.

Naruto widen his eyes, struggling as he positioned the bloody Uchiha into a more comfortable spot in his arm. "Woah. Watch it; I'd like to get back to Konoha in one piece alive for Hinata-chan."

"Hinata-chan?" Sasuke raised his eyebrow, the name rolling off his tongue weirdly.

Naruto grinned. "I've been dating her for about 4 years now." He seemed to shine proudly at the fact, his eyes dancing with excitement. "It's our 5 year anniversary soon, and I plan to ask her hand in marriage." Naruto whispered the last part in a thoughtful look, his future manifesting in his mind.

Sasuke snorted at the remark, not believing the biggest loudmouth of the village had snatched the Hyuuga heiress. "Good luck with that. I heard her Father is a pain." Sasuke smirked, trying to beat down Naruto's hope.

"It's okay." Naruto smiled happily. "I had to spar her Father in order to even court her. And see, I'm still in one piece." Naruto stuck out his tongue teasingly. "Plus, at least I'm straight. Who knows what happened with you." Naruto raised his eyebrow curiously, sarcasm exploding in his words. "Who knows? You're probably gay after spending years with a pedophile and traveling in a sausage fest."

Sasuke opened his mouth in disbelief, and then closed it. He glared at Naruto from the corner of his eye, his sharingan flashing.

"Woah." Naruto looked surprised. "Don't tell me it's actually true?!" Naruto gasped dramatically, as if he just found the Holy Grail.

"IT'S NOT!" Roared Sasuke, his face turning red with anger. "I am not gay. I did NOT travel in a sausage fest."

Naruto stifled his laughed as he dragged the Uchiha towards Konoha. "If three guys and a girl isn't a sausage fest, then I wonder what one to you is."

Sasuke's lips twitched upwards. "I'm not gay," growled Sasuke, turning his head away. "Plus, I am interested in the female species."

Naruto began to howl in laughter, dropping the rugged Uchiha in the process, which erupted a series of curses from the fallen body. Naruto realized his mistake and scrambled to retrieve the fallen Uchiha, stifling his laughter in the process. He grabbed the male's arm and threw it around his neck again.

Wiping a tear away, Naruto answered in a teasing voice. "Now who might that _un_-lucky girl be?" His lips pouted into a fishy face, causing Sasuke to turn his head away in disgust.

"As if I'd ever tell you." Sasuke snorted, twitching as the Hokage mountain came into view.

Naruto smiled warmly at his friend. "You'll tell me someday." He said confidently. "Plus, in any case, I'd probably think you lik- OI SAKURA-CHAN!"

Sasuke whipped his head at the blonde, eyes widening. "How did you know?!" Sasuke hissed, his voice growling.

"What?" Naruto raised his eyebrow. His hand was pointing towards the gates, which Sasuke followed, realizing the initial message of Naruto's question. "You like Sakura-chan?"

Cursing, Sasuke looked at his former team-mate he hadn't seen in a few years. Her pink locks were held in a tight, professional-looking high ponytail, a few wisps decorating her flawless face. Her emerald eyes shone with happiness, tears beginning to form at the corner of her eyes as she clasped two hands to her mouth. She wore a porcelain, bird mask at the side of her face and a huge katana on her back. A fresh ANBU tattoo was on her arm, showing her toned biceps. Sakura wore a tight-fitting, black V-neck top, hugging her curves and ending just below her chest. Decorating her toned legs were a pair of tight black shorts with a kunai pack. Arm guards extended past her elbows, and were shining as if she recently cleaned them. Smiling brightly, she reached the limping duo and began to let her silent tears fall.

"Naruto!" Sakura greeted, a hand on her mouth trying to stop the flow of tears. Her melodic voice caused Sasuke to stand tall at the sound, pink tinted on his cheeks. "I'm so glad you're okay!" She wrapped her arm around Naruto in a light hug, trying to avoid his bloody form.

Sasuke couldn't take his eyes off his former teammate. She had grown out of her childish body and now suited a womanly body. She had curves in all the right places, and tons of skin shown with the outfit she was wearing. With one hand, Sakura's chakra-infused hand began to heal Naruto's wounds, as the other was pulled into a tight fist at her side. She looked at Sasuke, a soft expression plastered on her face.

"I'm glad you're back too…" Sakura said, her eyes softening at the sight of him. Suddenly, they turned hard and a fist flew into the younger Uchiha's cheek. "NOT!"

Sasuke flew, smacking a tree with his numb body as a loud cry escaped from his lips. Naruto began gasping, his eyes traveling from the two in front of him, a shocked expression on his face. Sakura smiled with triumph and smirked, swinging an arm around Naruto.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asked in a worried tone. "These wounds look horrible! If we don't treat them soon, they might become infected, and someone can't marry Hinata-chan!"

* * *

**Hard**

**One-Shot**

Sasuke winced in pain as his eyelids fluttered open, sweat soaking his face as if it was his skin. Rolling onto his side, Sasuke yelped in pain at the sudden explosion of throbbing erupted. Two soft hands rolled him back onto his back, caressing him carefully. He looked at the hands, traveling up to see broad shoulders and a mob of pink hair.

"Sakura…" Sasuke whispered, his voice hoarse with dryness.

"Glad to see you're awake." A strong, feminine voice called out, from the corner of the room.

Sasuke looked up to see Tsunade, the Hokage, walk over to him confidently, her large breast swinging. She looked tired and drained of her chakra, but her eyes held a cold, hard glare. She held up a clipboard with a chart on it, waving it in his face.

"A few broken bones, fractured knee, stomach wound, pulled ligaments..." Tsunade read out loud, her eyebrow rising as she went down the list. "I told him to bring me back a scroll from the Tea Country, not bring me an unwanted fugitive."

Sasuke smirked. "Hn."

Tsunade leaned down towards his bed, her hands gripping the bedpost. "I'm glad my apprentice over there, _Sakura_, was able to heal you due to your stupidity." Tsunade snorted, cocking her head towards Sakura.

Sasuke looked over at the rosette standing against the wall; rays of light beaming into the window, making her look like an angel. She looked away as she felt Sasuke's eyes on her, stiffening on the spot. Sasuke's trance was broken as Tsunade spoke again.

"I'll give you a choice." Tsunade smirked, eager to await his reply. "You can either stay in Konoha, under a few conditions, or I can kick you out of here. I'd really hate to execute the last and remaining Uchiha. Especially when some Uchiha babies would be quite useful in Konoha."

Smirking, Sasuke looked up into piercing orbs. "What if I stay? Conditions?" He crossed his arms painfully, trying to keep his cool façade on, but wincing slightly. "Can you assign a female to repopulate my clan?"

Tsunade snorted at his question then turned around. "Find your own girl, unless your gay. What do you take me for? You lived here you idiot. Don't tell me you forgot what you learning in the academy already." She flopped onto the couch tiredly, her eye bags darkening. "Just cutting off your chakra, no missions, ANBU escort; you know, the usual." She waved her hands. "Not going to cut off your head unless you start going around raping and molesting little boys."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "Is it just me, or is Konoha getting soft? That's it? I'm an S-Class Criminal for Pete's sake!" He rolled his eyes at the look the Hokage gave him. "And why does everyone think I'm a pedophile?!"

"Listen Uchiha." Tsunade pointed a finger into his face, making him slide back reflexively. "We've been through Pein's invasion; you've killed off Orochimaru; my two best ninjas wiped out the remaining Akatsuki. Explain to me, pray tell, who else would we be afraid of? And you spent years _with_ a pedophile!"

Sasuke's eyes harden at the facts spoken, and then growled in a low voice. "Fine. I accept on one condition."

Tsunade shoved a cream-colored document into his face, a pen in her other hand. "Excellent. Tell me your _con-di-tions_ and _si-gn_." She spoke as if he just entered the Academy, and was struggling to understand a getsu.

Ignoring her tone of voice, he grabbed it and began to sign his name. "I don't want a fangirl ANBU as my escort. Please. I couldn't stand them 14 years ago, I sure as hell can't stand them now." Sasuke ended his signature with a dot as he smirked. He knew for sure that criminals under ANBU supervision had rights to refuse certain escorts.

Tsunade nodded then rolled up the document, tucking it into pocket. She waved her hand at Sakura. Sakura nodded and pushed herself off the wall, sneering teasingly at Sasuke as she walked by. Her long strides and swaying hips had Sasuke memorized as he watched her.

As Sakura passed his bed, she stopped and turned towards him. "If you were wondering, we already assigned you an escort." Sakura smiled. "I know you'll absolutely _love_ him."

The drops of sarcasm made Sasuke raise his eyebrow, curious to know. "Don't tell me you stuck me with the long-haired ice cube?" Sasuke snorted, turning his head away as he remembered the scowling face of the Hyuuga.

Shaking her head, Sakura grinned evilly. "I'm sure you two will get along just fine!" She walked over to him, patting him on the head forcefully, causing the Uchiha to wince.

Grabbing the curtain divider as she strutted, Sasuke screamed at the figure on the other side. There was Naruto sitting on the bed, wrapped in bandages, a creepy, smiling face erupted as he turned towards Sasuke.

"Why hello there," Naruto spoke, the façade not dropping. "_Roomie! _Do you remember last night?_" _

_

* * *

_

Fortunately, or unfortunately in Sasuke's case, Naruto healed fast and watched over Sasuke like an older brother. Although Sasuke hate to admit he, he enjoyed being back in Konoha. At the moment, Sasuke was being caught up in all the juicy gossip, courtesy of Ino who passed it to Naruto.

"Also, apparently Neji and Ten-Ten were caught macking in the forest of Training Ground 6." Naruto whispered, as if it was a deadly secret. "Hands and all."

Sasuke smirked and nodded, finally realizing the female-looking male was actually straight. "Hn."

Naruto grinned and patted his friend on the arm. "A lot has changed since you left. I heard from Sakura-chan that you guys fought a few times when she came across you on missions."

Nodding, Sasuke smirked. "I won, obviously."

"But…" Naruto looked deep in thought. "Why did she punch you? I thought she'll be happy I kept my promise." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

Sasuke looked away, pink tinted on his cheeks, which unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by Naruto. "OH. WHAT'S THIS?!" A finger was found smack against the Uchiha's cheek, digging into his firm skin.

"Hn. Stop." Sasuke muttered, turning his head away.

Naruto jumped up excitedly, and began pinching the Uchiha's cheeks. "Tell! Tell!"

"No." Snort.

Naruto clasped both hands on Sasuke's cheeks, his cheerful personality dropping and a serious one erupting. "Listen to me." Naruto hissed into his face, fire burning behind his cerulean orbs. "You're going to be stuck with me for the next 6 month, so incase your wondering, I can make your life living _hell_."

Sasuke right eye twitched slightly then sighed. "Fine." He snapped his head away, and began to recall the story carefully. "It was two years ago, when I was with my team still. Sakura was on a mission and we crossed paths. She was wearing, mind you, the shortest clothing I have ever seen. It was probably a seduction mission or whatever, but I kind of…forced her against a tree…kissing her." He mumbled out the last part, but sadly, Naruto heard.

Silence spilled into the room as Naruto looked at him seriously, his eyes burning into onyx ones. Suddenly, Naruto smacked his knee and began laughing simultaneously with another voice. Sasuke turned bright pink as he searched the room for the other voice.

"Did you hear that, Kaka-sensei?!" Naruto howled in laughter, pointing at Sasuke. "TEME KISSED SAKURA-CHAN!"

Kakashi came out of the corner he was hiding then wiped a tear away. His silver hair was spiked up into its usual shape, his headband holding it in place. He wore an ANBU outfit, without the arm guards, and an orange book in hand. He patted Sasuke on the head and forced an orange book into his hands.

"I think you'll need it." Kakashi whispered, a hand covering his mouth childishly.

With that, the duo howled in laughter while pointing to the now embarrassed Uchiha. Gripping the book in his hands, he threw it at the man, who caught it skillfully. He turned away, curious to see his former sensei's appearance. Attempting to change the subject, Sasuke spoke towards the silver-haired man.

"Since when did you join ANBU again? Aren't you at least 40?" Sasuke asked, his mouth aching at the amount of words he was spilling out.

Kakashi placed a hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt. "I am not that old!" He mocked the Uchiha with his voice. "Plus, since Sai was already ANBU, Sakura and Naruto tried out and got in. We decided to do missions again, just for old time's sake."

Sasuke nodded, unable to understand why they rather do missions with his _replacement_ rather than look for him. Not that he cared. Much. He looked around, the white rooms haunting him for the last 3 weeks. He sighed, staring at the door as if Sakura might burst in any moment.

Naruto snapped a finger in his face. "Oi!" He smirked, and then smiled a foxy grin. "Sakura-chan invited us over for dinner tonight."

* * *

Sasuke walked up to an apartment building near the hospital, Naruto's arm draped around his shoulder, and a bag of groceries in his hand. Sasuke wore a loose navy t-shirt with the Uchiha fan on the back, and a pair of brown shorts. Naruto wore his ridiculous orange jumpsuit, for "old time's sake" apparently.

"Can you go up yourself?" Naruto asked innocently, his eyes pleading a 'yes'.

Sasuke raised his eyebrow, turning around to glare at the male. "Why?"

"I need to send these scrolls we got to Hinata's Father. He wouldn't like it if they were late." Naruto said sheepishly. "Plus, there are two ANBUs up there, so technically, I'm not breaking any rules."

Sasuke sighed then nodded, watching an excited Naruto dash off. Sasuke climbed up the stairs, crumbling why would a ninja need these if they could jump. He arrived on the 7th floor, and walked towards room 777. Raising a hand to rap the door, Sasuke heard voices on the other side.

_"HARDER!"_

Sasuke froze in his spot as he realized the scream was escaping from the lips of his own teammate through the door. He was about to rush in when he heard another voice replying.

_"Ugly! I can't get it any harder than this!"_

Flushing suddenly, Sasuke heard a zip being zipped and a few footsteps. He then snapped his head towards the door when he realized that was Sai's voice!

_"Well try! I hate it when it's so soft! I need it to be firm!"_

There was a sound of shuffling then a sound of someone Velcro's being snapped on.

_"Fine, Ugly. I'll be back."_

Sasuke panicked as he heard the knob being turned, only to be interrupted by Sakura's voice.

_"Sai, honey. Please wear a shirt."_

Widening his eyes, Sasuke couldn't believe what they were doing inside. It then dawned on him what that scream and protest could have meant.

_"But its hot outsi- Oh fine."_

The noise of someone kissing could be heard, and the door swung open, revealing Sai holding the door. He wore a loose white t-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. Behind him, stood Sakura in a green tank-top and a pair of white shorts, her hair all tussled up.

"Good evening, Sasuke." Sai extended a hand out. "I believe this is called an unwanted meeting? I read it in a book."

Sakura's melodic laugh was heard coming from behind Sai, as she giggled at the denseness of Sai. Sasuke took the hand as he raised his eyebrow and lifted up the bag of groceries.

"The dobe." He said, as Sai nodded towards him and walked towards the stairs.

Sai called over his shoulder as he was seen walking down the stairs. "I hope you had that stick up your ass removed! Sakura, please remember to clean up as we did make quite a huge _mess_."

Sasuke inwardly gagged but turned towards Sakura. Walking towards him, Sakura took the bag and motioned him forward. "Come on in. I'm just starting to cook. I'm guessing Naruto went to see Hinata?"

Sasuke took off his shoes and nodded, following Sakura into the kitchen. She began to unpack the items from the bag, not caring about Sasuke's gaze following her. Sasuke flushed as his eyes traveled to Sakura's messy hair, hoping that it wasn't from Sai. Sasuke's eyes traveled to the pile of clothing on the floor, guessing that was the 'mess' Sai was mentioned earlier. A loose tension filled the air as Sakura began to chat.

"You know, I was surprised when Naruto dragged your body back to Konoha." Sakura said, placing the eggs into the refrigerator. "I never expected you to come back."

Sasuke shrugged, not caring if she saw him. "People change. I had no reason to stay out there anyways. I was just traveling doing minor assassinations to survive."

"Ah." Sakura said, her tone indicating she didn't really pay attention. "Kakashi-sensei is probably going to be late again."

Sasuke nodded. "Isn't he always?" The two shared a short moment of laughter, pretending there was no awkwardness between them.

"I'm sorry." Sakura suddenly said. "For punching you. I was just kind of upset about _that_ incident."

Sasuke shook his head as he stood up silently, sneaking behind Sakura. "I'm sorry too." Sasuke said, wrapping his arms around Sakura. "I didn't…I just…I..."

Sakura widen her eyes as his arms snaked around her waist, and she was pulled into Sasuke's chest. The two stood there for a few moments when Sakura spoke. "What are you doing?" Sakura asked nervously, her voice shaking.

"Oh crap…" Sasuke muttered, suddenly backing away. "I just…sorry."

Sakura's eyes softened as she turned towards the Uchiha. "I'm not who you think I was. I've changed, you've changed." Sakura returned back to unpacking the items. "I don't love you anymore."

"Liar." Sasuke hissed, suddenly grabbing Sakura and forcing his lips onto hers.

Sakura's eyes widened and she pushed him away, smacking her hand across his cheek. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she wiped them away, turning her back towards the Uchiha. Sasuke sat that, massaging the handprint on his porcelain face.

"You love me still." Sasuke stated instead of asking. "I know you, Sakura. You still love me."

"No I don't," Sakura hissed, anger rising in her tone. "I never will. Just because I loved you, just because I loved you for who you are, does not mean I will let my heart be broken again. I refused to be played."

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak when Sakura interrupted him. "I'm not a baby-making machine. If you want a wife, go check out your fangirls. Pretty sure one of them can meet your requirements."

Sasuke eyes hardened, his emotions beginning to be jumbled up. "I don't' want a fangirl as a wife. I know I've done some pretty stupi-"

"Inconsiderate." Sakura added, brandishing a knife as she began to mince carrots.

Sasuke sighed. "I know I've done some pretty stupid, inconsiderat-"

"Heartless." Sakura added again, mincing the carrots faster.

"Yeah, that too." Sasuke agreed annoyingly.

The mincing increased. "Conc-"

"Can I speak?!" Sasuke asked impatiently, his tone rising.

Sakura stopped mincing, her chest now heaving in and out. She dropped the knife, and then proceeded to take out a bag of rice. "Yes. Continue." Sakura said in a monotone voice.

Sasuke's anger rose at the actions of the rosette in front of him. He growled then grabbed his pink-haired teammate as a yelp escaped her lips.

"Listen." Sasuke's eyes flashed with anger. "I hate your stupid pink hair and how it invades my head. I hate your stupid eyes when they shine and crap. You're always on my mind, and I hate that. Why can't you see it, dammit?!"

Sakura's eyes widen as his confession poured out of his lips. Sasuke snarled, pinks starting to tint pink.

"I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!" With that, Sasuke crashed his lips onto hers in a soft but electrifying kiss.

Sakura struggled and tried to get out of his grip, but Sasuke forced her against his chest. Realizing it was useless unless she used her chakra, she began to kiss back. After he stopped just for a gasp of air, he looked deeply into Sakura's emerald eyes, memorizing every detail of her face. He grimaced then looked away, covering his face with hand.

"I guess I shouldn't have done that. Sorry." Sasuke muttered, turning away. "I don't want a fangirl. I want you. I know you're with Sai and all, but I don't wan-"

"What?" Sakura began to laugh in a melodic ring. "You think I'm dating Sai?"

Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "The dobe told me this is his apartment and you're living with him…"

Sakura clutched her stomach, tears streaming out of her eyes. "Sasuke!" Sakura gasped for air. "He's gay! I'm just living with him because he's an excellent housemate!"

Widening his eyes, Sasuke gaped like a fish, thinking about the noises and the conversation. "But- before I was at the do- I heard noises an-" Sasuke flabbergasted as he waved his arms.

"Me kissing him is in a sibling-kind of way. On the cheek." Sakura waved her hand, as if swatting a fly. "It's not like we were doing anything _dirty_, we were just saying how it wasn't ha-"

Suddenly, the front door of the apartment swung open and Sai emerged holding a bag in one hand, and a tomato in another, squeezing it slightly. "Ugly. I got the tomatoes you wanted, and they're hard, firm and plump!"

* * *

_. f . i . n . _

_(:_

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**Enjoyed that? xDD;; **

**Review me if you can find that moment from Nodame! (; **


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